It's almost the end of the year, but I have another true confession to make: over the past six months, I've had a serious case of doubting my own ratings.
This is something that's happened to me before when I use that treacherous "Compare Books" button on Goodreads with the Goodreads elite- I look at their ratings, their reviews, and think to myself, "Gosh, did I really rate that five stars? I really meant four." But in this case, it was the reverse: I'd read plenty of books this year, and only one had been a five star read for me- one.
In the vast realm of the internet, I often come across people who can give at least ten five star ratings to books a year. People who read less books than me, but seem more enthused about the books I was 'meh' about that I feel like something must be wrong with me. As I do take and change up medications used to ease my chronic pain, I began to wonder if my enthusiasm had been somehow sapped from me by a bunch of chemicals dumped into my system. I've always felt like a positive person, but nothing makes me feel less positive when I compare books with someone who has one hundred five star ratings to my twenty-some. Am I some weird ratings Scrooge? Do I actually not enjoy books as much as the average Joe, yet continue to flog myself with the hobby to feel like some brainiac?
About a week ago I began reading a bundle of classics. Usually, I try to go for books I see a deficit in reviews of on my blog, but since it's the end of the year I decided to read whatever I felt like to try and make it to 100 books. I started The Phantom of the Opera and felt kind of 'meh' about it from the beginning- it was okay, but nothing special. Halfway through I started liking it. By three quarters of the way through, I was prepared to rate it 4.5 stars. In the end, it earned its own 5 star rating with one scene. I felt like my status as a reader and enjoyer of books was suddenly redeemed.
As a blogger, I've been trying to keep up with the latest and greatest. If the majority of bloggers I follow say 'read this' I take their advice and galavant out to find said book. But here's the problem with that formula- I'm not them. We each have our own unique set of experiences that make us individuals, and if a group of individuals like a certain book, it doesn't mean I will. I have known that fact for a while now, but it seems more and more I forget that as I try to involve myself more with the blogging community. I pride myself on being a unique individual, and yet I was consuming a diet of books that were popular, trendy, and everything I am not.
TL;DR: I doubted myself due to my low star ratings, read books everyone else loved (but I didn't), and came to realize reader's opinions are as unique as snowflakes (perhaps even special ones).
I doubt my ratings all the time (which is waaaay too much!). It's a really horrible habit but whenever I see what I rated books over the course of the year, I always think that I'm too lenient of a rater. For example, I never rate a book 1 star unless I DNFed (which happens once in a very rare blue moon). So then everything else gets bumped up... and then I end up with like 60/100 books being rated 4 stars or higher. I always tell myself I should be more critical but then I start thinking about how maybe I'm just picking out books to read that I think ARE really good. I've actually thought about purposefully reading a book I'm pretty positive I'm going to hate just so that I can get some low ratings in. But you know, that's such a horrible thing to do! Force myself to read books I hate just so that I can have a balanced ratings portfolio? No way! So now I just rate it how I think it should be rated - weighing all of the pros and cons as well as my intuition. It suits me just fine :)
ReplyDeleteLaura @BlueEyeBooks
I usually round up my ratings too, but since I have the half stars and mark many books on Goodreads 3 Stars when they're 3.5, my ratings get rather low. I rarely mark a book one star, unless I intensely disliked it (I usually just stop reading if I think I dislike a book). I'm glad you've found a way to rate that suits your needs, and don't purposefully read books to 'balance' it out! I only wish I had a list of all the books I'd rate five stars before I read them. :)
DeleteThanks for stopping by and joining the conversation, Laura!
~Litha Nelle
I am glad you are enjoying reading the classics. It's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else is reading and seems to be loving--and then feel not only disappointed by doubt yourself when you don't love those same books too.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes think I am not as discerning a reader as many because my ratings tend to be on the high side (although I do not give out 5 stars very readily). I like most of what I read. That's why my rating scale tends to be heavier in the positive. A 3 is good.
Yeah, I've had enough of the latest and greatest for this year- next year I may start in on reviewing 2014/2015/2016 books again. It's nice to read the classics, since there is rarely a typo to be found.
DeleteCompared to last year, my ratings are higher. But last year, I was trying out all different kinds of romance and found out which authors I wouldn't buy from again. I'd much rather be rating on the higher end of things than the lower end, so I'm glad that has improved this year for me. I think even if you rate on the high side, you're discerning- everyone has their different degrees of what they feel the ratings mean- and that's how it should be.
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation, Wendy!
~Litha Nelle
That's funny you doubt your ratings, I do that too when I read books that are popular especially, don't even get me started on how much I didn't like Pride and Prejuidice for 75% of the book. I gAve out a few 5 stars this year. 4 is usually my most popular rating and the one I write most reviews on. Oddly, some of my favorite books I hoard all my love for and don't share it on my blog. Go figure, I'm an odd book blogger too.
ReplyDeleteI was going to address my lack of 5 Star reviews sometime too- I also have an issue with writing reviews for books I'm head over heels for. 4 Star reviews are much easier to write, for some odd reason. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has trouble with this doubt!
DeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting, Tanya!
~Litha Nelle